Friday night I sat with my 5 year old in my lap trying to find the words to explain what happened in CT. I told him there were bad people in the world who did bad things and one of these bad people got into a school and hurt a lot of people. I went on to tell him if he ever heard noises at school that scared him to hide. He stopped me at that point and said, "don't worry momma, we have drills for stuff like that."

How sad is it that our children have to practice what to do in these cases. When I was little, our biggest concern was practicing fire drills. I said many prayers over the last few days for those lost, but also for those left behind.

I recently read the book, "To Heaven and Back," by Dr. Mary Neal. In her book she discusses her experience of drowing but said she never felt pain or fear. She believed her soul had left her body before her physical death preventing her from going through those emotions and pain.

I only hope those left behind can find some comfort in knowing their loved ones did not suffer pain or fear, but were being held tightly in the hands of our God.

I know from past experience about questioning God when tragic things happen. Why did He allow this to happen? Why did He save some and not others? The list of questions are endless. It takes a very long time to let go of the anger. The problem is by holding on to the anger, rage and hatred, we've allowed that horrible person to take our lives as well.

It may take years, but eventually you will be able to turn back to God.

Rachel's Challenge

For those who don't know about this, it's amazing. Check out Rachel's story - just click on the title.  She was wise beyond her years. While the death of a young person is always tragic, if not for her death, none of this wonderful work would have happened. I'm sure Rachel is watching from heaven and cheering us all on.

Where am I?

Purple cloth and blue koala bears,
Blues Clues prints dance across the wall
SpongBob Squarepants keeps us from getting scared
Dora and her friends keep us company while
Butterflies and flowers add color throughout
Amoebas and jellyfish swim on the walls
Where am I do you ask
At the hospital, for an unpleasant task
The childrens' room has friends all over the walls
They keep their attention and make the time pass by fast
Soon it's over and they're bundled in a blanket
Cuddled in mom's lap, it's time for a treat
Ice cream or milkshake, what will it be
A yummy frozen treat all for me

Past Lives - Part 2 con't

During the first past life session, the hypnotist told me the people who are of importance in this life were/will be of importance in your past and future lives. The last one was especially interesting for this reason.

This time around, I was in a log cabin in what I believe was the early 1800's. I was cooking dinner over the fire while the 3 kids did their homework at the wooden table. In the back of the house was a wooden ladder that went to the loft where the children slept.

I was also their teacher. We had a little one-room school house that also appeared to be used as the church. My husband's name was Jobe and we were corn farmers in the midwest.

Once again, the hypnotist told me to go to the last few minutes. I was an old woman, in my 80's I think. All 3 of my children were there along with my grandchildren.  Jobe had already passed away and as my children held my hand, I slipped away too. As I looked at the white light, I could see Jobe waiting for me. I walked to him, he took my hand and we walked together down the path. The most interesting part of this one was my name. It was Mary Brown. While that's a common name, it's also the name of my great-great grandmother on my mom's side.

So, what do you think???

Past Lives - Part 2 con't

In the next life, I was walking through a grassy commons area in the middle of what appeared to be a stone building. There was beautiful architecture with stone archways and spires. There were lots of children running and playing. I was being given a tour by a man. As we passed a walkway that appeared to disappear into darkness, I was told I was not allowed to go back there. There was no reason given and I didn't ask.

The hypnotist told me to go forward in that life. I did and found out the building was a convent. The forbidden walkway led to the bedrooms and living area for the nuns. I was a nun and went by the name Mary Catherine. My room was tiny of course. There was a small window near the ceiling. the rooms seemed to be mostly underground. There was just a small bed. It was actually more of a cot with a thin mattress. It had white sheets and a dark blue think blanket. There was a bedside table with a small lamp and my Bible. The only other furnishing was a crucifix over the bed.

I saw myself sitting on my bed praying and I had my rosary in my hands. The hypnotist told me to go to the last few minutes. I saw myself as a very old woman surrounded by my sisters as I slowly closed my eyes and started walking toward the white light. I remember thinking how peaceful it seemed.

This one was fascinating because I've always been interested in Catholocism and nuns. I even converted from Methodist to Catholic. I would love to spend a weekend at a convent to study them and understand more of how they live. However, if you had asked me how I might have spent my past lives, I don't think I would have ever guessed a nun.

1 more to go...

Past Lives - Part 2

So I went back to the hypnotist to find out more. This time, my only purpose in going back was to experience the last few minutes of life and learn what death was like. maybe it sounds creepy to some, but, with one exception. it was actually serene and peaceful.

The one exception was the first life revisited. It was also the only one I'd experienced during my previous session. I had gone back to the 1950's and was a teenager. I was curious as to what happened to her since I was born in 1971. Obviously, my time in the 1950's would have ended young.

What I discovered was this: The first thing I saw were curtains in that aweful yellow people liked in the late 60's and early 70's. I was in a hospital room holding a baby. My husband and I had just had a daughter we named Grace. Ironically, in this life, if one of our sons had been a girl, the name would have been Grace.

My family had stepped out of the room for a bit and the nurse came in to take Grace back to the nursery. After the were out of the room, it was just my husband and me. I started convulsing. He ran and screamed for nurse. They all came running. At that point, it was as though I was floating over my body watching them shock me over and over again. Finally, the doctor stopped and said there was nothing else they could do. I was gone.

This was the only death experience that was upsetting. I actually broke down in tears, in the office, and remember saying I didn't want to leave because my baby needed me.

The next life was abit confusing. It seemed to have some overlap with another life, but the overlap didn't make any sense.  I saw myself flying (not in a plane) over water. I was in a white gown and had long blond hair. Suddenly, there was a beautiful grass-covered hillside. For some reason, I felt like I was in Scotland. I landed there and immediately looked down to see I was now wearing a white short-sleeved shirt, a green jumper-type knee-length dress, white socks and Mary-Jane type shoes.

There was nothing else around, just nature. I began walking and eventually saw a small cottage off in the distance. The next thing I knew, I was at the cottage. I walked in and it was tiny, but comfortable. There was a fire in the fireplace and I was cooking soup. There was a rocking chair by the window and my knitting in a basket. I seemed to be all alone, but I was ok with it.

The hypnotist told me to go to the last few minutes of my life there. I was sitting in my rocking chair knitting and it seemed like I just drifted off to sleep. The next thing I saw was me being pulled from my body and into the sky. It was not at all upsetting.

See the next post for more...

Rainy Days

Gray and gloomy, dreary and wet
A good book and my pjs and I'm all set
Curled up on the couch and wrapped in a blanket
My kids right beside me, how much better could life get
They snuggle in tight and drift off to sleep
Angelic little faces, so beautiful I weep
My life before them, had no meaning
But then they were born andI thought I was dreaming
Was it possible to be this happy?
Was it possible to love someone this much?
My heart felt as if it would burst
How can I explain it
How can I tell you
Unless you've been there, it's too abstract to understand